so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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