Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
