Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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