I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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