The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
