Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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