Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
