It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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