I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
