hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
