btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
