My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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