Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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