so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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