Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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