He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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