is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
