When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
