I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
