there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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