it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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