watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
These tits shall not be calmed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
