We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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