Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
