Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
