hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
