You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
