i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
