just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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