There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
