Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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