I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
