I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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