We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
