"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
