Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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