I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize