none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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