Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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