Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
