i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
