i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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