i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
