I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
