Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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