i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
