Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
