i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
