I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
