I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
