I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
