My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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