I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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