My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
