I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
