matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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