i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
