There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
