butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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