what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
