Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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