I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So squirting runs in the family.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
