that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish i was in the wii world.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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