Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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