So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
