i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
