I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
